Discussion in 'The Leisure Lounge' started by bw2011, Nov 3, 2020.
3 Engineers are sitting at the bar, having a conversation along the lines of:
“If God were an engineer, what kind of engineer would he be?”
The Mechanical Engineer:
"Obviously he was mechanical. Look at the joints, the complex range of motion, the connective tissue. Mechanical Engineer for sure!”
The Electrical Engineer:
"No way. Electrical. Look at that brain! All the nerves, neurons, every little electrical impulse that ties it together! Must’ve been Electrical!"
The Civil Engineer:
Takes a sip of his drink. "Nope. I can say for a fact that the human body was designed by a Civil Engineer. Who else would put a sewage disposal system right in the middle of a recreation area?”
An engineer returns to his room to find it ablaze. He grabs a bucket, fills it with water, pours it on the fire, then keeps pouring until the fire is out and adds more for a safety factor, then goes to sleep in his now soaking wet bed.
Same thing happens to a physicist. He sprinkles a few drops of water on the fire, observes the results, makes some quick calculations about latent heat of vaporization, and pours exactly the necessary amount of water on the fire to put it out, and goes to sleep in his still dry bed.
The mathematician obverses the fire for a moment, thinks about it, and cries, "Yes! There is at least one solution!", and leaves the actual extinguishing of the fire as a corollary exercise for his graduate students.
A group of engineers and salesmen are traveling via train to a conference. Each of the salesmen buys a ticket, but the engineers buy only one ticket for all of them. One of the sales engineer asks, "How can you all travel on only one ticket?"
"Observe and learn," replies one of the engineers.
Once on the train, the engineers all cram into the lavatory. When the conductor moves down the car collecting tickets, he collects the salesmen's tickets and then knocks on the lavatory door, and says, "ticket please." The door opens a crack, a hand extends and the ticket is handed to the conductor, who then moves on to the next car. The salesmen are amazed.
On the return trip, the salesmen buy one ticket, and the engineers buy none at all. Again the salesmen ask, "How can you travel with no ticket?"
"Observe and learn," replied an engineer. On the train, the salesmen crowd into the lavatory. One of the engineers knocks on the lavatory door and says, "ticket, please."
Nice one, Dana!
Here's another one:
How to tell an engineer's social skill have improved?
While talking to you he will not only look at his shoes, but will also look at your shoes!
Separate names with a comma.